Saturday, October 15, 2011

Halloween Spooktacular Boy,was my face red! By Cassandra Carr

Photobucket

Boy, was my face red!
By Cassandra Carr

Like many college students, I worked my way through school at a bar/restaurant. I was scheduled to work on Halloween, which, of course, meant dressing up. Well, I'm here to tell you - it's easier said than done to find a costume that will allow you to work in a bar all night.

I settled on a mime, because I could wear block and a little beret and paint my face white and be done with it. But the whole "painting my face white" idea was apparently a bad idea... I was pleased with my costume as I got into it that night - tight black leggings, a long black long-sleeved t-shirt, and my little black beret. No muss, no fuss. And no tail for people to pull all night long!

Then I got out the make-up I'd gotten at the drug store in the seasonal Halloween section and set about painting my face. Everything went well and I went to work. About an hour after I'd first put on the makeup I noticed my face felt kind of itchy. I was busy and I shrugged it off. Less than an hour later, though, I couldn't the itching/pain in my face anymore. I wanted to scratch my own face off! I went into the bathroom in the employee break room (another sign things weren't right - I didn't even go to the customer bathroom, which was WAY cleaner than the one in the break room) and grabbed a bunch of paper towels. I began to scrub the makeup off my face, and it was then that I noticed the large red blotches.

I was obviously allergic to the makeup. I looked like someone had slapped me repeatedly. There was no way to fix the damage, and I certainly wasn't going to put on other makeup like concealer over these angry red blotches. So I went back out to the bar and endured an entire night of "Oh my God! What happened to your FACE?!?"

So if you're going to wear Halloween make-up, make sure you're not allergic to it first, or that you don't mind your customers treating you like a freak all night...

Author bio:

Cassandra Carr lives in Western New York with her husband, Inspiration, and her daughter, Too Cute for Words. When not writing she enjoys watching hockey and hanging out on Twitter. Her debut novel, Talk to Me, was released by Loose Id on March 22, 2011. Head Games, Buffalo Intimidators book 1, will release on November 2, 2011 from Siren Bookstrand, and Caught will release December 13, 2011 from Loose Id.

For more information about Cassandra,
check out her website at http://www.booksbycassandracarr.com,

"like" her Facebook fan page at http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCassandraCarr

or follow her on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/Cassandra_Carr



Book Excerpt:
“I can’t take it anymore!” Leo Laporte, goaltender for the Buffalo Intimidators, glared at his teammates as they glided past him after the third goal in the first ten minutes of the game was scored. “You guys either play some fucking defense or I’ll jam my stick where the sun don’t shine! You got that?” Crouching down into his stance, he banged said stick on each post just as he did before every faceoff at center ice. Looking up, he saw the head coach, Tom, waving at him. A quick glance to Tom’s left showed his goaltending partner, Scott Schaffer, warming up.

“Fuck!”

Tom called a time-out, and Leo skated to the bench, bracing for the tirade. “You guys need to get your heads outta your asses, pronto. You’re down by three already and the game’s hardly even ten minutes old. Since you don’t seem to want to play for Leo tonight, we’ll see how you do with Scott in net.” Tom threw a sympathetic look Scott’s way. “Good luck saving anything with these jackasses in front of you.” Tom wasn’t known for mincing words, and tonight was no exception.

Leo opened the door to the bench and squeezed around one of the team’s hulking defensemen as best he could.

Glaring at the man, he thought, Slug’s not good for much tonight. Certainly not getting out of my way.

The guy was built like a tank and made a much better door than he did a window, as Leo could attest on that third goal. The puck had been in the net before Leo had even been able to react.
Leo clapped Scott on the shoulder. “Good luck, man.”

Scott nodded and took the ice. Performing a few quick stretches in the crease, he raised his catching glove to signal his readiness to continue play. Leo sat down, taking a long pull from a water bottle he’d grabbed from the shelf in front of him. No one said a word to him, which was just fine.

The team responded to Scott being in net and scored two goals by the end of the first. Leo stalked into the dressing room, heading straight for the can. Just as he’d planned, by the time he got out the second period was about to start. Tom told him he was going to continue to play Scott to see if they couldn’t salvage the game, and Leo nodded. It irked him that he’d been left out to dry, but he also knew damn well they’d done the same to Scott in the past. It was one of those weird hockey things no one could put a finger on, and Leo didn’t even try.

After trundling back to the bench for the second period, his stomach growled. The noise caused his mind to wander, straight to the tall, curvy woman with a mess of curls his hands just itched to plunge into. Right now Kelly Chase was probably pulling her famous apple pie out of the oven at the bistro where he and Scott had been going for dinner after games for nearly a year. Thinking about seeing her made his cock harden inside his jock and he willed it down. Having a hard-on when wearing a cup was a pretty damn unpleasant experience—one he wasn’t eager to go through at the moment.

He’d bet she knew he’d been pulled, but he’d also put money on the fact that if anyone made an ass-hatted comment about why she’d shut them right up. Kelly knew her hockey, and she watched every game on the big screen TV housed behind the counter at her bistro as best she could in between cooking meals for the customers. He could almost smell her special sour cream apple pie. She only made it on home game days when she knew Leo and Scott would be coming in afterward for their post-game meal. She’d even named it after the team, calling it Intimidating Apple Pie. There was sure as hell nothing intimidating about it, but it was definitely sinful, which was just how he liked it.

Thinking about her and her pie brought his mind to other subjects, like what she was most likely wearing that night. It drove him crazy the way she dressedin these cute little light pink T-shirts with Kelly’s emblazoned on the front right across her ample breasts. Even her chef’s clogs—also light pink—were cute. But her body wasn’t cute. It was sexy as hell. She was all bumps and curves, in all the right places. She wasn’t a dainty little thing, standing only about an inch shorter than his five foot ten, and he loved that about her—gave him something to hold on to should he ever be blessed with the opportunity to get into her checkered chef’s pants.
Leo was jerked out of his lust-hazed stupor by the “heads up” shout from his teammates. A puck was sailing right for him, and he automatically knocked it down with his blocker before it could do any damage. He didn’t wear his goalie mask on the bench, and if his reflexes weren’t lightning-quick he would’ve taken a puck right to his grill.

Head in the game, Leo.

Settling back, he watched his team tie it up by the end of the second. During intermission, Tom took both he and Scott aside and said he wanted to put Leo back in. Scott shrugged.He’d always been the more easy-going of the two men. Their combined personalities meshed well, which translated into a successful goaltending partnership and a friendship that had spanned nearly eight years.

Leo stretched out and took the ice for the third. Their opponent seemed momentarily surprised by another goaltending change but recovered quickly and gave the Intimidators a challenge. In the end, Leo got the win by one goal. After accepting the congratulations of his teammates, he bopped Scott on the head as they left the ice together. “Kelly’s is on you tonight, bro,” Scott said.

Leo snorted. He’d been expecting no less. “Not a problem. I hope she made apple pie.”
“She always makes apple pie if there’s a home game.”

They rushed through their post-game interviews and hopped into the shower. Only a half hour after the buzzer they were climbing into Leo’s Range Rover on their way to Kelly’s. When they walked in, she turned from behind the counter to greet them. Leo caught sight of her luscious tits straining the material of her T-shirt and his dick twitched. He quickly ran his hand over it.

Down, boy.

“Hey guys. Good game, both of you.”

“Thanks,” they answered in unison, sliding onto stools.

“How about some apple pie?” Leo said, licking his lips already. An image of him nibbling pieces of it off of her flew into his head. Man, was he horny tonight…

Kelly put her hands on her hips. “You know better than that. I never let you have apple pie until after you eat a good meal.”

Leo rolled his eyes. “Fine.” Perusing the specials written on a chalkboard underneath the TV, he ordered shepherd’s pie. Scott asked for a chicken souvlaki wrap, and they settled back to relax as Kelly went into the kitchen to make their food. “I fuckin’ love those T-shirts. I’d give up a mil of my salary just to be that T-shirt for a day.”

“Don’t I know it…” Since it was late, Kelly was waiting tables herself in addition to cooking, and both of them tracked her as she bustled around behind the counter. Coming back over, she poured them both ice waters and plopped silverware in front of them before going into the back once again. There were still a few customers, but everyone gave the Intimidators their privacy here—it was one of the reasons Leo and Scott loved to come here so much. The primary reason, of course, was Kelly herself.

“Okay, so let’s go over everything again – make sure we’re on the same page here,” Leo urged.
“All right. Can’t hurt. We need to present a united front if we’re gonna do this.”

“Exactly. So both of us want her.” They’d been attracted to Kelly since the moment they’d laid eyes on her, but had come to the realization a few months ago that their feelings ran deeper than simple lust.

Scott nodded; his eyes as determined and focused as Leo had ever seen them. “Yes, we both want her, and the only way that will work is if we share her. But we need to make it clear at some point, maybe not right up front, that we want her more than just sex.”

“And we think tonight is the night?”

“She’s definitely intrigued.” Scott paused and Leo could practically see the wheels turning in his friend’s head. “Even when we mentioned a threesome last week she didn’t run.”

“Yeah, and did you see the expression on her face? She wants it.”

“I think so, too. But don’t forget. We can’t push her too hard. And everything one of us does affects the other. We can’t let her tear us apart and if this thing starts to do that we need to reconsider.”

“Agreed,” Leo answered. He held up his fist. “Even now, even with Kelly, bros over hos, man.” The two men did a quick fist bump and Leo relaxed a little.

A few minutes later Kelly backed out of the kitchen, her arms laden with plates, and both men paused to admire her ass in her tight chef’s pants. She caught them staring and just shook her head, laughing.

Yes, they were done waiting for her to come around. It was time to put Operation Seduction into action.

Thanks to Cassandra for stopping by and treating us with not only a guest post but a book excerpt as well. Head Games will be released November 2nd, 2011 Remember all comments count as extra entries to the big giveaway at the end of this event.

Review of Lust After Death by Daisy Harris

Format: Kindle Edition
File Size: 200 KB
Publisher: Ellora's Cave (July 8, 2011)
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services
Language: English
ASIN: B005E8AMCY
Lending: Enabled


Book courtesy of Daisy Harris and The BSP tours


In the Pacific Northwest, where life hurries to keep pace with technology, a re-animated bride named Josie struggles to escape her creator.

Assassin Bane Connor wants to get the girl to the Zombie Underground and receive his payoff—a mental reset that will erase his memories as well as his guilt. But an attack by a rival faction derails his rescue, and the wide-eyed female ignites desire like he’s never known.

The newborn stein needs touch to live,and wanting her is a complication Bane doesn’t need. The last thing a killer wants is a his lover who can read his thoughts, but if Josie can love him the way he’s programmed, perhaps Bane can find a way to heal his past.

Review:
This book is a very quick read which I enjoyed very much. To be honest I haven't read any books with Zombies as the main paranormal character and I found it quite refreshing and nice change a pace.

Bane is an assassin sent to rescue Josie and bring her to the Zombie Underground to be reprogrammed. Bane is my type of hero though I never thought a Zombie could be sexy but Daisy does a great job in convincing me Zombies can be. He is determined to be reprogrammed or reset until Josie finds his way into his heart.

Josie I enjoyed as a lead female character, though innocent which I find very amusing for some things she doesn't understand or what certain things mean. That leads for some very hot steamy action.

If you haven't read any books with Zombies, I urge you to give this book a try. It has plenty of action and loads of steamy action with a bit of romance mixed in. Daisy Harris is a new author for me and after reading Lust After Death, I am eager to read other works by her.


Rating:

Friday, October 14, 2011

The BSP Tour Guest Post and Giveaway with Daisy Harris Author of Lust After Death



Scimantica!

As a writer, one always wants to create one’s own brand. It’s tough though—on the one hand, you want to write a variety of stories and maybe even a variety of worlds. But, on the other hand every writer has a voice, and a style, and even certain genres that more appeal to their particular muse. For me, the genre that best works is scimantica.

Scimantica=science fiction+romance+erotica. It’s an unholy marriage of robotsand mermaids, vampires and zombies. All these characters falling into passion and making sweet love. Though I’ve written a few things in a magical worlds, I far prefer world built on some hints of scientific fact. In my mind, God is a scientist—trying out formulas and potions on all us living things. In fact, my God character from the short story Cupid’s Arrow was exactly that—an absent-minded professor with too much going on and who mostly wanted the sub-gods to figure things out on their own.

My latest scimantica creation is my Love-Bot series with Ellora’s Cave. It’s a series about re-animated humans called stein who escape their creators and set out to build lives for themselves among humans.

The first book in the story, Lust After Death, features a frankenstein’s bride named Josie, and the assassin, Bane Connor, who rescues her. I originally wrote the story last September, not realizing that there was no way I’d have it completed in time
for Halloween 2010! But gladly, it’s available this Halloween, as is the sequel Studenstein.

What’s next for my scimantica universe? Well, I’m batting around the notions of The Iron Mermaid, and a story called White Strip about a vampire orthodontist. There are also a few more stein stories on deck, including Built4It and One Night Steined.
But other than Built4It (which is currently in revisions,) the rest are all evil plans forming in my diabolical mind.

Thanks for having me on the blog today! Readers, make sure to comment for a change to win Lust After Death!

Giveaway details: All You have to do is comment and leave your email addy. The giveaway will run from October 14th til 21st, with the winner being announced on the 22nd!


Format: Kindle Edition
File Size: 200 KB
Publisher: Ellora's Cave (July 8, 2011)
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services
Language: English
ASIN: B005E8AMCY
Lending: Enabled


In the Pacific Northwest, where life hurries to keep pace with technology, a re-animated bride named Josie struggles to escape her creator.

Assassin Bane Connor wants to get the girl to the Zombie Underground and receive his payoff—a mental reset that will erase his memories as well as his guilt. But an attack by a rival faction derails his rescue, and the wide-eyed female ignites desire like he’s never known.

The newborn stein needs touch to live,and wanting her is a complication Bane doesn’t need. The last thing a killer wants is a his lover who can read his thoughts, but if Josie can love him the way he’s programmed, perhaps Bane can find a way to heal his past.

About the Author:

Birkenstock-wearing glamour girl and mother of two by immaculate conception, Daisy Harris still isn’t sure if she writes erotica. Her paranormal romances start out innocently enough. However, her characters behave like complete sluts. Much to Miss Harris’s dismay, the sex tends to get completely out of hand.

If you like science-y subplots, fantastical creatures, and red-hot chemistry, you’ll love Daisy Harris. You can find her on Twitter,Facebook and at www.thedaisyharris.com.

The next blog stop: Oct 15 – Sassy Book Lovers http://sassybooklovers.blogspot.com/

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Halloween Spooktacular Scary Creepy Ladies by Dee Tenorio

Photobucket


When I was a kid, if there was ever anything I absolutely afraid of, it was the Llorona.

Haven't heard of her? Well, she's the scary story Mexicans tell their children to make them behave and especially to make them come in when its dark.

There are several versions of the story, but the one I heard is that a long time ago, a woman with a broken heart lead her six children to a river near her home after her husband left her. Planning to punish the man, she drowned each of her children and then killed herself. Her children, now wronged by both parents, went to Heaven, but for her crime she was cursed to spend eternity looking for them in the darkness, so if she finds any children out at night, she'll claim them as her own, take them to the river and drown them. So whenever you hear a long, keening cries in the night, you'd better hurry home...it's the Llorona, coming for you.

As you can imagine, most little kids got their tails inside at dinner and ran from the windows as soon as the sun went down. I, of course, was among them. And since the wind tended to whistle through my neighborhood with long, keening moans, you bet your tail that I had company.

But one night, every year, we kids grew a pair for a good cause. CANDY.

We'd all don our favorite costumes and walk out into the dark, risking life, limb and drowning by creepy crying lady for pillowcases stuffed full of candy. The wind howled and creepy ladies abounded but it never occurred to any of us to miss out on a year's worth of candy—for my family, Trick or Treating was a sport, man!—because someone might want to snatch us. For one day a year, we were safe. Ish.

Now, I've heard some people think that The Llorona is comparable to Bloody Mary—she of the infamous Midnight mirror game for stupid people (yup, I played it when I was little, because i was a very dumb 7 year old, lol)—but I never quite bought that. She's a scary cow all on her own, so when you hear some long moans in the night, be sure not to go outside. After all, there's no way to get free of her and as she's several hundred years old, I'm guessing we're all kids to her. :)

Tell me, did you ever hear of The Llorona? What version of the story were you told?
Dee


Thanks Dee for stopping by, Dee has graciously offered a copy of your choice book 1 or book 2 in the Resurrection series, so if you haven't read the first or if you have you can choose book 2 all you have to do is leave a comment answering her question above and leave an email addy. The giveaway will run from October 13th til the end of October 31st.


Back cover blurb:

The mate he never wanted may be the woman he can never have...

After a series of murders is discovered along the trail of the Shifter Underground, wolf soldier Jensen Tate is assigned to find and protect a missing stray. But Lia Crawford doesn't seem to want his protection. When she eludes his watch and returns with mysterious injuries, Tate knows she's hiding something. To discover her secrets, he'll have to win her trust...and get closer to the woman he thinks may be his mate.

Lia has reasons to keep her distance. The killer is haunting her steps, determined to claim her. He will come after them both if he sees how drawn she is to Tate, though it becomes increasingly difficult to deny her attraction to him. Protecting Tate is vital – but will her deception cost her his love?

"Deceiving The Protector" trailer:



About The Author:

Dee Tenorio has a few reality issues. After much therapy for the problem—if one can call being awakened in the night by visions of hot able-bodied men a problem—she has proved incurable. It turns out she enjoys tormenting herself by writing sizzling, steamy romances of various genres spanning paranormal mystery dramas, contemporaries and romantic comedies. Preferably starring the sexy, somewhat grumpy heroes described above and smart-mouthed heroines who have much better hair than she does.

The best part is, no more therapy bills!

Well, not for Dee, anyway. Her husband and kids, on the other hand...

If you would like to learn more about Dee and her work, please peruse around this site or visit her blog at http://www.deetenorio.com/Blog/.

Author's Links:

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

And The Winner of an ebook copy of T.R.O.U.B.L.E. is......

BannerFans.com

Thanks to all that entered, I'm sorry I am a bit late in announcing the winner. Be Sure to check out the Halloween Spooktacular all month for a chance to win the grand prize of $30 gift card or $30 dollars worth of books at the book depository. 2nd prize $20 gift card or $20 books at book depository and 3rd prize 10 gift card or 10 dollar worth of books.

And the winner is..... NA

Congrats an email has been sent, please respond within 48 hours or a new winner will be chosen.

Halloween Spootacular Vampire Halloween by Evelyn LaFont

Photobucket

Today we have a very special guest Evelyn LaFont, who has graciously written a short story just for this event as well as offering 2 ebook sets of her series Vampire Relationship Guide Book 1 and 2. BLH would like to send Big thank you to Evelyn for agreeing to participate.

A decade ago, on the first Halloween after vampires announced their existence, I was busy cleaning
toilets.

My predicament wasn’t due to the fact that I preferred cleaning toilets over going to parties in a sexy maid outfit, better suited for seducing than cleaning. It was that I had no choice but to exploit the cleaning company’s staff shortage and make an extra $50 to keep my electricity on that month.

And really, I was in a maid costume…of a sort, with my light blue bandana tied around my blonde curly hair, which was in a messy ponytail, and my too-large nurse’s scrubs purchased not because I was a caregiver but because they let me twist my body comfortably enough to reach the hair and gunk that settles behind most toilets. To this sexy ensemble, I added my Dr. Scholl’s Velcro sneakers that were ugly but helped me stay on my feet for hours. Finally, I had my super clunky Walkman tucked inside my black vinyl fanny pack. Rather than being a treat for the eyes, I was definitely a trick.

Anyway, I wasn’t just cleaning out toilets in the 20-story glass and steel office building with views of the Gulf that night—oh no. I was also dusting individual offices, emptying desk-side trash bins and wiping off windowsills. Good stuff.

Since we started cleaning in early evening, the building was empty of employees. The sun had set and the views out the windows were lame, so I decided to crank up my Walkman’s volume and let the music carry me away. With Destiny’s Child Survivor CD on repeat, I put my body on automate and cleaned without thinking, grooving to the music and singing about what kind of survivor I really was—the kind who wasn’t gonna give up.

I started doing some amazing hip-shaking while dusting off the bookcase that took up the entire wall of a dark paneled office with a thick beige carpet and heavy antique furniture on the tenth floor. While in the middle of busting my moves, singing about how I was on top and wasn’t gonna stop, I felt a tap on my shoulder that caused me to jump and suck in a raggedy breath.

I pushed my foam-covered headphones off my ears and turned to see a tall, ridiculously attractive man in a navy blue suit standing right behind me—in front of me once I rotated my body all the way around. He had rich brown hair with warm golden flecks, flawless skin that was pale enough to make me think he spent too much time under fluorescents, dark brown eyes, and a chiseled chin so sharply defined, it might have been able to cut glass. His brow was furrowed and he was looking down at his watch, which was worn on the same hand that clasped a leather briefcase.

“Hi,” I said, feeling like an anxious rabbit desperate to escape his eventual, and sure-to-be piercing,scrutiny.

Hunk-of-cold-stare looked up from his watch and said, “How long will you be?”

“Oh, um, well, it could take us another three or so hours. We haven’t gotten to all the bathrooms or offices yet.”

He snorted and shook his head as his eyes grew colder and said, “No. How long will you be? In here.

I have work to do and the lovely combination of your loud mouth-breathing and high-pitched wailing about survival isn’t exactly conducive to work.”

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve been around the block. I didn’t grow up surrounded by sunshine and flowers. I’ve been openly insulted before, but never so quickly by someone I’d just…well, just seen,really, because it’s not like we’d exchanged names and actually met each other.

Trying to stay professional (I did need the job, after all), I attempted to come up with a solution. “Oh,sure. Well, I can just go do other stuff and finish up in here later, before we leave. Will you be done working by then?” I looked at the plastic smiley-face watch on my wrist as I asked and saw that it was 8p.m., well past what I would consider normal late working hours for a 9-to-5 business dude.

Apparently, I was wrong.

“No, that’s not going to work. I’ll be here all night. Look, can you just clean in here without singing or talking or…breathing so loudly?” As he said it, he stomped off to his desk and slammed the briefcase down and started unloading piles of papers clipped with those industrial-sized paper clips and brown accordion folders with colored tabbies sticking out the top.

“Sure,” I mumbled, pressing the stop button on my Walkman so I could hear myself breathing and
regulate the volume of the oxygen around my face as it went in and out of my nostrils. We worked that way for a little, me tiptoeing in my Dr. Scholl’s and cleaning around Mr. Mean, him slamming papers around and occasionally grumbling about numbers and reconciling.

Eventually, I reached the last part of my duties, to the one that would bring me closest to him—emptying the wastepaper basket next to his desk. It was full, so I had to empty it. I briefly considered sneaking back in later, maybe when I heard him step out to use the restroom, but I figured that might annoy him even more if he caught me back in here after I was supposedly done, so I decided to just go for it.

I quietly shuffled across his thick carpet and up to his desk. As I reached down to grab the plastic bag lining the basket, he reached down to toss in a folder. When our hands grazed each other for just a tiny moment, there was a loud crack and fizzle. He jumped out of his seat with a startled cry.

“Jesus, you shocked me. You stupid child, you shocked me. Pick up your feet when you walk, for Christ’s sake.” As he spoke, I stared at his mouth and watched as his teeth, his two eyeteeth, grew longer and…sharper.

“You…you’re a…a…vampire?” I couldn’t hold back the shock from my voice. It was part awe, part
excitement and, based on his crappy disposition, part fear.

He looked at me. With an evil glint in his squinted eyes, he started to smile and ran his tongue over his fangs. Then, eyes slowly becoming wider, he…he hissed at me.

And I ran.

I ran straight out of the building, jumped in my car, and drove home to huddle in a corner of my one-room efficiency with a wooden spoon of defense in my hand and visions of Nosferatu’s crazy-assed fingernails in my head.

As you might expect, nothing else happened. No vampires tapped on my window or called me out
into the garden. No one bit me or otherwise terrorized me. If you’ve read about my life in my Vampire Relationship Guides, you might know I like vampires now. Maybe even a little too much.

The only bad thing that happened was that I wasn’t hired to work backup for that cleaning company again. Which is okay, because now, I’ve got my vampire boyfriend’s stinkhole to clean up. And really,isn’t that enough?

Author's Bio
Evelyn Lafont is an author and freelance writer with an addiction to Xanax and a predilection for snark. Her series, The Vampire Relationship Guide follows a clueless human as she sets out to date a vampire. Her books are available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and her website. For humor in small, portable doses, you can follow her on Facebook.

Giveaway:
Now on to the giveaway! Evelyn has generously offered 2 ebook sets of her series Vampire Relationship Guide, All you have to do is comment and leave your email addy. This is a separate giveaway from the main but all comments from this one will count as extra entries for the big giveaway as well. All giveaways will be ending October 31st.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Halloween Spooktacular:Halloween: Christmas without the Annoying Music

Photobucket

Halloween: Christmas without the Annoying Music
by Kobra Kid


So Donna contacted me the other day and asked me if I could pretty please write a guest post for BLH this month. And I was like, Uhh... [Insert deer-in-headlights look here.]

I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I've never written a guest post before. I don't even blog! I mean, I write book reviews and post them at Angel's Cove, but that's different, right? Who wants to read what I have to say about just, like, random stuff? And what am I even supposed to talk about, I wondered? October/autumn/Halloween doesn't really narrow it down all that much, to be honest.

But then, last Sunday, I was out doing my weekly shopping and pondering this pressing question. I shuffled morosely--morosely because it's been cold and gray and miserable here in Ohio--through the front doors of my local Cheap Outsourced Goods Emporium. And then, I saw them. Pumpkins! Immediately, I threw my arms into the air like my team had just scored a goal, squealed, "Oh my god, pumpkins!" and launched myself full-tilt into the produce section to enthusiastically plunder the pumpkin bin.

For the record, I am 26.

Ah, joy! How I love pumpkins. They give us such a wealth of delicious things to enjoy: pumpkin pies, pumpkin bread, pumpkin soup, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin spice lattes. Even MORE pumpkin spice lattes. (What? I'm a fan.) And they give us important, life-altering information. In our modern technological era, how many people really pay attention to solstices and equinoxes and that sort of thing? Most of us are minimum-wage zombies, or not much better, slogging our way through day-to-day life in a mindless stupor, and we barely even register the changing of one month into the next, let alone the changing of seasons. But when the pumpkins come out, that's when you know autumn has officially arrived.

Oh, October. I take back everything bad I ever said about you.

So there I was, ass-up in the pumpkin bin trying to find the best and brightest, and that's when it hit me. That's what I'll write about! No, not pumpkins. Well, not entirely. I thought to myself: Self, we'll write about how awesome Halloween is!

And just what is so awesome about Halloween, you might ask? Only EVERYTHING. It's like Christmas, except without all the attending crappiness.

I mean, Christmas is okay. I guess. If you're religious. Or if you enjoy forking over even more of your hard-earned money to the wealthy corporations who have co-opted the holiday in order to cash in on rampant consumerism. But for non-believers like me, and those of us too poor to get into the gift-giving spirit, the Christmas season is basically a month-long inconvenience. By the time I've heard the fifty-thousandth iteration of Jingle Bell Rock, or fought in a caged death match just to buy a gallon of milk, I'm ready to punch the next person who has the nerve to wish me a happy holidays.

But Halloween is great. For a holiday that started out very much as a religious observance, it has become refreshingly secular. Naturally, there is an overarching theme of the supernatural, but nobody expects you to actually believe in ghosties and ghoulies. Well, most people don't, and those who do are usually the ones that lock themselves up in their houses and refuse to pass out candy because "Halloween is the Devil's holiday!" Pish posh. Un-wad your panties, Aunt Mabel. If anything, Halloween is about showing remembrance and respect for the dead.

But mostly it's about candy.

Obviously, Halloween is another holiday businesses exploit to rake in more cash. They all want you to buy things--candy, costumes, decorations. And pumpkins, of course. But on the bright side, nobody will think you're a heathen if you don't. Your neighbors aren't going to judge you for not, say, sticking a scarecrow in your living room, or putting a jack-o-lantern on your front porch for people to sneer at and say, "Oh, those people. Flaunting their non-religious holiday. Why don't they just keep it to themselves?" And most importantly, nobody expects you to blow your paycheck on gifts for your family and friends. Just get those bitches some chocolate. Bitches love chocolate.

Or caramel apples. Mmm, caramel apples...

I mean, that's the best thing about October, right? It's basically a month-long festival of guilty indulgences. For most of us, as we get older (I'm almost 30! I'll be needing a walker next!) and realize our metabolism has forsaken us, we have to start watching what we eat, lest we end up generating our own gravitational pull. But when the stores start hawking Halloween treats, it's a chance to relax, to let ourselves go and live a little, without feeling like we're committing some unpardonable sin. An orange-frosted cupcake here, a Reese's cup there. A little candy corn. Oh, those fun-size Snickers really are fun to just pop in your mouth and suck until they dissolve into melty chocolate-caramel-peanutty goodness. Ah, such delicious bliss! And what's it really going to hurt? Aside from your waistline, of course. But there are eleven other months to count calories and stress over inches and pounds, right? Besides, Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner, and what holiday season is complete without feeling bad about yourself around your family.

But who can feel bad when you're dressed like a pirate, or a naughty nurse, or a freakin' fairy princess? Unlike Christmas, when you have to put on clothes you hate and suffer through varying levels of discomfort for the next MILLION @!#$%&* YEARS, on Halloween you can wear whatever you want. You can wrap yourself in a bedsheet, call it a toga (just be careful about your choice of headwear), and go gallivanting around your local grocery store. No one will look at you twice. Well, they might, but hey, screw 'em. For this one day out of the year, you can wear anything your heart desires, be anything.

On Halloween, you can be a seductive vampire vixen, a ninja, a busty bar wench. You can even throw on a tux, stick on some fake beard, and be a dude for a day. Or, if you are a dude, slip on a sequined dress and some high heels, and sing I Feel Pretty after a few martinis at the office costume party. Or how about dressing up like your favorite rock star? Or movie hero? Cartoon character? Or if you're feeling self-conscious because you've put on a few pounds, you can just wander around all day in your pajamas with a big teddy bear and tell everyone you're going as your inner child.

How awesome is that?!

In short: Four for Halloween. You go, Halloween! And none for Christmas, bye.


Kobra Kid, signing off.
[You can't stop the signal.]

Thanks so much for Guest Posting today, Kobra Kid is a dear friend of mine so I appreciate her stopping by. Remember all comments count as extra entries.